I feel like I go on and on about this whole transition from a miserable 9-5 desk job to a sometimes 8am-3am job as an artist. Hopefully it’s not too redundant and boring… but I just cannot help myself.
I had a lot of worries about my first few weeks as an artist. I was afraid things on my mind from my previous job (still cannot believe that is what it is now) would cloud my mind and create a creativity block – like they have for about the past two years. Perhaps it was my week at the beach after my last day of work, but all the awful memories of ringing phones, complaining people, superficial crap, and feelings that I was not working fast enough/hard enough/efficient enough are all but a distant memory.
It’s amazing. In less than a month’s time, I feel like I am me again. I am that freak that you see walking around the grocery store smiling for no reason. I am the person you get fussy with at the post office because I’m chatting with the employees and holding up the line. All of this energy has come out of nowhere and about 95% of it is fueling this incredible Renaissance that seems to be going on in the spare bedroom of my apartment. (The other 5% went towards the run I went on today. It had been almost a month and was miserable.)
Last night I was up until 3:30am because I didn’t want to stop working. I find myself waking up early, sometimes like 6am early, because an idea will just come to me and the excitement makes going back to sleep impossible. I think there have been at least four or five mornings that I’ve been in my studio with a Red Bull before the sun is fully up.
It’s all unreal. It really is. Sales started to pick up momentum over the weekend and I’m hoping it’s not just a coincidence. Making this work and not having to get another job is a dream that I cannot even fathom. If I can make it to mid-November, then ride the holiday rush, it seems possible. My fingers, toes, eyes, everything = crossed. This has to work. It feels so right.
Wow… so after that dramatic display of emotion, here are a few of the things I’ve cranked out this week: